Couples Therapy
Because Love is Our Legacy
About Couples Therapy
In the end, love is all we leave behind. The legacy of love is the most precious thing we can give our children, but love is so much more than something we pass down. When we learn to love well, we not only pass it onward, but outward and upward. Love is so powerful that it can actually heal the hurt and dysfunction of prior generations.
So why does this thing that seems so important also seem so hard to find and keep?
The reason is that love dredges up our hidden desires, our greatest fears, and our deepest hurts. When this happens, we either deal with what arises so that we can experience love more fully, or we find a way to shut love out. We numb, we lash out, we withdraw. We blame, we start arguments, we criticize. We engage in power struggles, we distract ourselves, we look outside of our relationship.
The good news is that while there are seemingly endless ways to shut love out, there are only a few secrets to letting more love in. You and your partner just need to learn the tools and how to use them properly. This is what couples therapy is all about.
- How to uncover the hidden reasons you’re lacking the closeness you really want
- How to communicate in harmonious ways so that you can solve problems creatively
- How to recognize when previous history is “leaking into” your present interactions
- How to identify which strategies are leading you away from intimacy
- How to recognize when you are communicating from a place of fear and defensiveness and shift into a place that is more heartfelt and authentic
Each of us arrives in relationships with a set of “operating instructions” which we’ve absorbed from our culture, in general, and our families, in particular. Couples therapy is a place to critically evaluate these implicit rules in order to understand what is and isn’t working. In therapy, we look at not only the implicit rules that each partner brings with them, but how those rules interact.
My “blame” is always on the pattern, never on the people. Most of us come by our less-desireable behaviors honestly, having observed them growing up or learned them in order to adapt to our early environment. The beautiful thing about relationships is that they challenge us to reach beyond ourselves and grow as individuals. You’ll be amazed how quickly things can improve after even a slight upgrade in your relationship tool set.
Reasons for Couples Therapy
Communication Issues
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Sexual Concerns
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Partner Infidelity
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Power Struggles
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Premarital Counseling
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We’re used to thinking of dating as preparation for marriage, but it might be better thought of as a way of finding a person who is worth our efforts. Merely spending time with someone does not, in and of itself, set us up for long term fulfillment. If you’re looking to tie the knot, I can help you have important conversations about finances, careers, family planning, values, and more.
Trust Problems
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Getting Started is Easy
Free 20 Min Chat
Want to see if we’re a good fit? I offer free phone or online chat consults to answer all your burning questions.
Book Appointment
Ready to meet? Use my online scheduler to quickly and easily find a time that works for all of us.
1st Session!
Here’s where to go and what to expect in our first session together.
Frequently Asked Questions
What if my partner doesn’t want to come?
It’s common for one partner to be more invested in therapy than the other. If this is the case for you, it can still be beneficial to come alone. Positive changes are somewhat contagious, and often one partner adjusting their relationship “style” is enough to create substantial improvements.
If your case is more dire, we can discuss ways of getting both of you “to the table.”
We’ve tried couples therapy before and it didn’t work. Are we a lost cause?
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Can you save my marriage?
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Contact Me
Ask a question or book an appointment below. For emergencies call 911, 512-472-HELP or visit your nearest hospital.