Love is Magic


Demystifying love doesn’t make it less magical, it just makes it less confusing! Recent emotional research offers powerful insights into bringing more of this vital magic into our relationships. Learn the two pivotal moments when the magic happens.

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#MeToo In The Therapy Room


None of us exist in a vacuum. The “personal problems” that bring us to therapy are always  silhouetted against a cultural backdrop, one that — depending on the climate at any given moment — can either support or undermine our growth and healing. In the worst cases, the social structures that create our wounds themselves become barriers to confronting them.   Such is the case with patriarchy.   The Great Collusion that keeps patriarchy alive is the…

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Why Your Marriage is Doomed to Fail


After spending the better part of my life studying relationships, including a fair amount of time trying to salvage them, I have reached the following conclusion: All marriages must fail. It’s not that I have become jaded or cynical. Quite the contrary. Now, more than ever, I maintain hope that men and women everywhere can discover the kind of soulful…

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Practice the Art of Appreciation


Appreciation is not just window dressing on a reasonably good relationship, it is absolutely essential if we want our marriages to survive and thrive. Practicing appreciation as an art form soothes the “primal panic” of attachment distress, sparing us from destructive fight-or-flight responses and increasing safety in the relationship.

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The Importance of Importance


Dearest reader: I’m sorry to be the one to have to tell you this but, when it comes to your relationship… Everything you do matters. Every exchange either strengthens or weakens your emotional bond. Every strategy moves you either closer to intimacy or farther from it. Every action either supports or undercuts your values. Every decision is either unifying or…

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Infidelity First Aid


The revelation of an infidelity is an intense experience for both the offending and the hurt partner. The aftermath is a period of overwhelming shock, confusion, pain, and uncertainty. Partners have tremendous difficulty making sense of their own hurt, much less understanding one other’s. Most of us simply do not have the life experience to navigate this storm alone, yet…

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