Browsing Category : Relationships

#MeToo In The Therapy Room


None of us exist in a vacuum. The “personal problems” that bring us to therapy are always  silhouetted against a cultural backdrop, one that — depending on the climate at any given moment — can either support or undermine our growth and healing. In the worst cases, the social structures that create our wounds themselves become barriers to confronting them.   Such is the case with patriarchy.   The Great Collusion that keeps patriarchy alive is the…

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Becoming Sensitive to the Sacred


We can examine relationships at multiple levels in order to better understand them, but does that mean we know how improve them? When I sit down with a couple, I am clear on what my goal is. And it may not be what you think. Pulling Focus Relationships are at once fundamental and transcendental, and one of the challenges for…

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Why Your Marriage is Doomed to Fail


After spending the better part of my life studying relationships, including a fair amount of time trying to salvage them, I have reached the following conclusion: All marriages must fail. It’s not that I have become jaded or cynical. Quite the contrary. Now, more than ever, I maintain hope that men and women everywhere can discover the kind of soulful…

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The Importance of Importance


Dearest reader: I’m sorry to be the one to have to tell you this but, when it comes to your relationship… Everything you do matters. Every exchange either strengthens or weakens your emotional bond. Every strategy moves you either closer to intimacy or farther from it. Every action either supports or undercuts your values. Every decision is either unifying or…

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Infidelity First Aid


The revelation of an infidelity is an intense experience for both the offending and the hurt partner. The aftermath is a period of overwhelming shock, confusion, pain, and uncertainty. Partners have tremendous difficulty making sense of their own hurt, much less understanding one other’s. Most of us simply do not have the life experience to navigate this storm alone, yet…

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